Waking Up White - Debby Irving

 

This is another random purchase that my lovely wife picked up on a whim, and as we are always trying to improve ourselves, we thought we'd see what Irving had to say.

As an extremely privileged white Baby Boomer - think country clubs, summer homes, lawyer father, stereotypical WASP family in Northeastern USA - Irving has her heart in the right place as she tries to understand how white people fit in - and are the cause of - racial relations in this country. From her lifetime of privilege, money and "normality", she has no understanding or experience with first hand prejudice and how it affects not just people of color, but anyone who is not straight, white, middle-or-upper-class or "different" in any fashion. I can't pretend to know what it is like to be a person of color, but I do understand being singled out for being "different" - a freak, strange clothes, unusual attitudes, out of the ordinary passions, etc. Obviously, my experiences pale in comparison to people of color, but I have been picked on my entire life (although it has lessened considerably as I have become an older, more normal looking white man), bullied and singled out by police for my appearance - something that is obvious has never happened to Irving.

The things that astonish her make her appear painfully naive in the extreme - she thought that everyone had the same advantages that she and her (very white) family had and that all you had to do was work hard to get ahead in this country. She and her husband were flabbergasted that people of color did not receive the same gifts that her father did as a recipient of the post-WWII GI Bill, for instance. Her lack of empathy (until she thought about it) for a handicapped person, as another example, is fairly surprising, as well - she never considered her life as other than the one she had.

I am just a couple of years older than Irving, but I had a much less (financially) privileged upbringing, and I was the outsider, the freak, the hippie, the punk, etc., so I have more understanding of living on the outside. And my parents, although products of their time, naturally, did their best to evolve socially and understand and have empathy for the trials of people who did not have the privileges that we had, such as they were. But even with these experiences (and with dating women of many different races), I have certainly been a product of my time, as well, and have made extremely inappropriate jokes, made naive assumptions and much more (although I continually try to evolve, as I said), so it is not too surprising that someone in a much wealthier bubble would have even less ways of processing this information.

Probably the most dramatic concept for me, even though it's not something completely foreign to me, but stating it plainly is important, is the idea that the white majority should not be focused on how minorities can fit in, but how the majority can be more inclusive and learn from the other cultures. Of course, I have always been open to other cultural traditions and concepts, but the fact that the white powers-that-be expect everyone else to fit in with them instead of incorporating other viewpoints themselves is certainly a thought that bears repeating. And, of course, in my old white man way, I am not expressing the concept too well but hopefully I am making some sense.

An interesting read, in any case, and kind of amazing just how sheltered and naive Americans can be - there are many who should be reading this book that would probably never even consider it. I have been reading books from activists and people of color most of my life, but this does make me want to explore the concept of privilege even more and never take for granted the how lucky my life has been.